india

presse agent Stuart Knight

Have you ever found yourself waking up from a dream and being amazed at the insane musical your mind just had you starring in? At one moment you find yourself leaping waterfalls on the back of a tiger and within the blink of an eye you are sitting at your kitchen table eating sugar coated cardboard, while playing black jack with a hamster. Well, if you’ve had one of those bizarre dreams then you have a sense of what it’s like to travel to India. Let me put this out there before we go any further. I’ve travelled a lot. I would say more than the average person. I’ve seen many of the Wonders Of The World, I’ve eaten things that are still alive and I’ve gone to sleep in the middle of the Amazon Jungle. I’m not sharing this to impress you, but to rather reinforce my reference point when I say that India is the craziest country I’ve ever been to. Of course, crazy doesn’t have to be a bad thing. To me crazy is defined by that which is uncommon, rare or makes you say, “Holy shit, that’s not happening!” India is all three and more. If you can go five minutes in India and not see something that makes you want to laugh, cry or puke, I’ll give you five bucks. It’s as if the country wakes up each day with the soul purpose of winning the gold medal for being the most whacked out country on the planet. And while the silver and bronze medalists look up at the Indian flag being raised, they receive a shower of piss from the cow the winner is holding above his head. And for those thinking I’m painting India with a brush of negativity, please note that I’m not suggesting this is a bad thing. It’s just a true thing and for anyone to say this isn’t happening in India is lying. Sure there are the gorgeous countrysides, the posh areas in the big cities, as well as beautiful beaches, but between these areas of normalcy exists a playground where every man, woman and child is aiming to earn an extra rupee and if that means jumping out the ass of a dead panda, while juggling fire balls then so be it! And this is why you should go to India.

Go for the mountains, animals, jungles and rice fields. Go for the history of religious rebellion, Gandhi and the landmarks or recent terrorist attacks. Go for the food you can’t get anywhere else, the music you won’t hear anywhere else, and the gazillion different languages no other country has. And above and beyond all of that, go for the circus that is India. A country that brings every beautiful and poisonous thing planet earth has to offer under a big top tent with a sign at the opening that says, “Enter at your own risk”. And if you work for Greenpeace, Amnesty International or WWF, you may want to consider another vacation. Unless of course, you have had a change of heart and now like seeing homeless children who haven’t bathed in a month, people who discard their trash by burning it on the street, or animals licking the intestines that have somehow managed to hang out of their ass! Yes, that’s India. It’s not all of India, but it’s a major part of India. A place where walking five blocks will expose you to no less than ten men peeing on the street, seven rickshaws asking if you want a ride and twelve people asking you if you want to buy something in their store. A place where crossing the street could easily get you killed, where cows see humans as second class citizens and where not having diarrhea in the past few weeks means you haven’t eaten food. It’s a circus, and one that you get to star in the second you walk out of your hotel room. The honking horns will drive you a bit crazy. You will step in shit. Someone will con you. The pollution gives your chest a bear hug. People will stare at you. Strangers will ask to take your picture. You will see more than one rat. You will see people working harder for three dollars then you do for one hundred. Yes, that is India, and yes I can’t wait to go back.

Stuart Knight is an award winning entrepreneur, critically acclaimed author and producer extraordinaire. While he has written, produced and starred in shows that have been seen by over one million people, he brings his talents as a motivational speaker to some of Canada’s biggest companies. He is the author of You Should Have Asked – The Art of Powerful Conversation and The Madness of My Mind. Find him on Twitter @Stuart_Knight.